Bullets and Bells
by Rose Starre
Summary: Bullets, bells, and Chokeslams, too, dominate this fanfic in which two fighting worlds collide! Nine WWE Superstars find a portal to a strange world stuck in an eternal war. How will they ever escape? (P.S. Title is subject to change. If you have any ideas, please tell me so.)
1. The Discovery

**Disclaimer: I do not own WWE or Team Fortress 2, just in case you didn't already know that.**

_Chapter 1: The Discovery_

"What a night!" The Miz exclaimed as he and a few other Superstars strolled down the hall. It was after Monday Night Raw and they were exhausted.

"You said it, Miz," Triple H agreed, sighing. This whole managing thing (Or whatever it is that he does) weighed heavily on him and he wanted to get to the hotel as quickly as possible to rest.

Randy Orton, who was walking behind of the group, noticed some slight movement out of the corner of his eye. A rather familiar cowboy hat was perched atop the silhouette. The "mysterious stranger" motioned for Randy to remain silent. The Viper nodded and smirked.

The "stranger", who was, in reality, a certain Shawn Michaels, crept up behind Triple H. He fought back the giggles that appeared at the sight of his friend's cluelessness. Moving just to The Game's left, Shawn walked in silence for a while, before ramming his shoulder into Triple H.

The suddenness of the lighthearted attack threw Triple H off balance for a minute. "Hey, watch where you- Shawn!" he cried, "When did you get here?"

"A while ago," Shawn answered. "This _is_ my hometown, remember." WWE had stopped momentarily in San Antonio, Texas.

"True," Triple H said, nodding. "So, what brings you to the arena?"

"Can't I see my best buddy during the brief time he's here?" Shawn asked.

"No," Triple H answered jokingly. "No you can't."

The small group passed by Daniel Bryan, who was staring fixedly at something in the shadows. "What did you find there, Daniel?" Miz asked. The group paused to see what he said.

"Look at that," Daniel answered, pointing into a shadowy corner. "It wasn't there before. I know that I passed this exact corner, and it wasn't there."

Something came suddenly into focus. The aforementioned "something" being a small machine lying on the floor, the two arms spinning swiftly. The center of the machine glowed robustly. "What is it?" Randy asked, peering curiously at the machine. (The Superstars don't need to know this, but it's a Teleporter Entrance.)

"How am I supposed to know?" Daniel snapped.

"I wasn't asking _you_," Randy snapped back.

"Enough," Triple H growled. The two others shut up, but continued to glare at each other intensely. "We should figure out what it is, one way or another."

"I volunteer Rey to poke it," Miz said, pushing the smaller Superstar ahead of him.

"Whoa," Rey Mysterio said. "I don't want to touch that thing, whatever it is."

"Sure you do," Miz chuckled, pushing Rey closer to the machine. "It looks perfectly safe."

"Safe or not," Rey murmured, "I'm still not touching it."

Kane came up behind them, unannounced, with Undertaker in tow. "What are you staring at?" he asked.

"We don't know," Daniel explained. "No one wants to touch it and see what it does."

"I know who does," Kane said mischievously.

"Who?" Daniel asked, dreading the answer.

"You do," Kane answered simply. He pushed Daniel onto the machine and the smaller Superstar instantly disappeared.

"What just happened?" Shawn asked after a tense moment of silence, staring wide-eyed at the mysterious machine.

"Whatever it was," Rey answered, "it convinced me to not touch that thing."

"You are touching it whether you want to or not!" Miz cried. In a fit of rage, he pushed Rey onto the machine. The other Superstar disappeared just like Daniel had. Staring at the machine, Miz muttered, "Oops…"

This initiated a shove-fest of sorts. Triple H smacked Miz upside the head, causing him to fall and disappear into the machine. Randy forced Triple H into the machine, only to be pushed into it himself by Shawn afterwards. Undertaker, wanting in on the action, threw Shawn into it. Kane grabbed CM Punk, who happened to be passing by, and hurled him into it. The Brothers of Destruction stared at each other for a minute, and then stepped into the machine themselves.

**To be continued…**

_This will prove to be interesting. Until next time!_


	2. The Discovery: Part 2

_Chapter 2: The Discovery: Part 2_

Bullets whizzed overhead as the BLU Team crouched low, trying to keep their last point. The blue light pulsed gently beneath a thin layer of dry dust. RED kept advancing on the point, but Heavy, Soldier, and Demoman kept driving them back.

"Is the Charge ready, Doc?" Scout asked, casually shooting a RED Soldier.

"Nein," Medic growled, "And it _von't_ be for some time. It's at about fifty percent."

"Right when we need it most too," Scout grumbled.

Right at that moment, strange people began tumbling out of thin air. The REDs ceased their advance, even though Heavy kept mowing them down. The BLUs stopped firing (With the exception of Heavy) to gawk at the spectacle.

Nine people showed up in total. Scout abruptly broke the long silence, "Whoa! It's like havin' a whole 'nother team 'round here!"

xxxxx

The whole area was covered in arid dust. It wasn't the sharpest contrast to where they had been, but it was something of a shock. The Superstars let out a collective groan as they collapsed on the sandy ground.

"Whoa! It's like havin' a whole 'nother team 'round here!" cried a rather excited voice.

"Another team?" Triple H grumbled, lifting his head. What he saw startled him: Nine people dressed in similar colors standing on a metal cap on the ground. Every one of them held a gun of some sort. "Whoa! Whoa!" Triple H cried, backpedaling swiftly.

"What's the matter, Hunter?" Shawn mumbled, luckily not bothering to look up.

"Just don't make any sudden movements," Triple H said slowly.

"What? Is it some kind of animal?" Shawn asked, raising his head. His eyes widened at the sight of the guns. "Maybe you're right," he whispered, slowly settling back down on the dust. "This is not a good time to move." The other Superstars stirred and came to the same conclusion.

"Who on Earth are these people?" CM Punk asked discreetly.

"I don't know," Triple H answered. "But, they have guns. We shouldn't mess with them."

xxxxx

The BLUs stared at the newcomers, who were having a conversation amongst themselves. Soldier stepped off of the point and stood over the Superstars. "And just who are _you_ maggots?" he snapped.

"Why exactly should we tell _you_?" Punk growled.

"Because!" Soldier bellowed, "_You _invaded _my_ turf! It is _you_ maggots who should do the introductions first!"

Names were warily exchanged. "Tell me," Engineer said. "Just how exactly did you get here?"

The Superstars recounted the story so far, each butting into the story of the others to add their own details. After they finished, the BLUs nodded. Sometime during the recollection, the Announcer had told them that they had beaten the clock and had won the battle. The Superstars' predicament seemed just slightly more important at the moment, however.

After some conversing among the BLUs, they decided to take the Superstars back to base. Mostly, the reason was so that the REDs wouldn't get at them.

xX(At BLU Base)Xx

"What a crazy battle _that_ turned out to be!" Scout exclaimed as the mercs and the Superstars entered the base.

"You got that right," Engineer agreed, still puzzled over the Superstars' sudden appearance.

"What will team do with teeny tiny men?" Heavy asked. Rey glared at him.

"Ve have to keep zhem safe from zhe REDs," Medic answered. "Zhey should stay here until an entrance to zheir vorld can be found."

"Why do you talk weird?" Punk asked.

"_Vhy _does _everyone_ ask zhat?" Medic huffed, storming off in exasperation.

"Was it something I said?" Punk muttered.

"Probably," Sniper answered, "He's pretty sensitive when it comes to his accent."

"His accent?" Miz questioned. "I thought you were all from America."

That seemingly innocent statement brought a series of protests from the team. "Only Scout, Soldier, and Ah are from America," Engineer almost calmly stated. "The rest of 'em are from other countries."

"What countries?" Shawn asked, somewhat startled by the sudden outburst.

Spy suddenly appeared and answered first, "I am from France. Now, if you don't mind, I'll go drag Medic back out of the infirmary." The Frenchman went to do so.

"I'm a dinkum Aussie," Sniper snapped, annoyed that he'd been confused with an American.

"Heavy from Russia," Heavy roared. "Is good country."

"Ah'm from Scotland," Demo said, taking a swig from his bottle. "An' don't ye forget it."

Pyro stared at the Superstars without saying anything for a few minutes. He mumbled something, then walked away. "Is he always like that?" Triple H asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Engineer answered.

Spy made a reappearance, dragging an irritated Medic along. "Go on, Medic," Spy growled. "Tell the friendly strangers where you are from."

"Germany," Medic snapped. "Zhere. Can I go back to zhe infirmary now? Zhere is something zhat requires my attention."

"Fine," Spy sighed. "Go back to your beloved infirmary." Medic, more aggravated than ever, stomped away. As soon as the doctor was gone, Spy rolled his eyes. "It iz rare to find Medic outside of the infirmary after battles," he explained to the baffled Superstars. "No one really knows what he does in there."

"An infirmary?" Undertaker asked, his low voice startling a few of the mercs. "I think I'll go check that out." With that statement, The Phenom left the room in search of the infirmary.

"I'd better follow him," Kane grumbled, stomping after his half-brother.

xX(Just outside the infirmary)Xx

Kane paused outside of a pair of double doors that he was sure led into the infirmary. In fact, he heard voices from within the room, one of them certainly belonging to The Undertaker. Kane leaned closer to the door to listen in on the conversation.

"…bleed much?" Undertaker asked. (Full sentence: Do the dead bodies bleed much?)

A soft chuckle sounded from inside. "Ja," spoke a voice with a thick German accent. "It isn't too uncommon for zhe dead bodies to bleed zhemselves out. It is especially good vhen zhe blood runs zo thickly, zhat it keeps zhe dust on zhe ground, instead of in our eyes."

Kane could almost see Undertaker smirking. "Blood _is_ thicker than water," Undertaker replied.

"Yes!" the German said excitedly. "I've done such tests. Zhe blood sinks, but zhe vater (water) continues to float on top!"

"Fascinating," Undertaker muttered, sounding bored with the German's enthusiasm.

"And zhe fact zhat sharks can detect blood from miles avay," the German continued, "Zhat in of itself is an intriguing marvel of nature."

"You sure talk a lot when you're not around those others," Undertaker pointed out.

Curiosity overcame Kane and he peered into one of the narrow windows in the doors. He spotted the one the others had called "Medic" apparently doing some paperwork of some kind. There was no other living soul to be found, besides Undertaker (if he even _had_ a soul). After a minute, Kane's vision registered a number of doves as well, one of which was perched on Medic's shoulder.

Medic stared fixedly at the paper in front of him, blushing slightly from embarrassment. "Um… Vell…" Medic stammered, fumbling for a suitable comeback to Undertaker's comment. His fingers absent-mindedly found their way to the dove on his shoulder, inattentively stroking the bird's feathers.

Undertaker grinned darkly, happy to have finally shut him up. Kane winced slightly behind the door; he knew that look. Undertaker was going to mess with the doctor a bit. And The Deadman's version of messing with someone often ended with someone getting hurt.

The Phenom took a dove in his gloved hands. His shady smirk only intensified as he neared an open window. "Vhat are you doing vith him?" Medic asked shakily, standing up and following him.

"Such a pretty bird deserves to be free, right?" Undertaker asked impishly.

The sight of Undertaker grinning so broadly usually would have scared some folks, but Medic appeared unfazed. "Put him down," Medic commanded, an angry gleam replacing the confusion in his eyes.

Undertaker paused momentarily and looked at him, bearing an amused expression. "And if I don't?" he asked.

"I vill saw through your bones!" Medic growled savagely, making a threatening movement towards his bone saw.

It took Undertaker a minute to realize that Medic was dead serious. The malevolent grin dropped from The Phenom's face. "You're serious…" he muttered. Louder, he said, "Fine, I'll let him go." He put the dove down and turned back to Medic. "You people sure are crazy," he mumbled, shaking his head.

"Ve have good reason to be," Medic explained, putting his bone saw down. "Stuck in an eternal var (war) like zhis…"

Undertaker shrugged and left. Kane backed away just in time to miss the door by mere inches. "Kane," Undertaker said with an accusing smirk. "You weren't eavesdropping, were you?"

Kane grinned viciously. "Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't," he answered. The two of them turned and strolled down the hall.

**To be continued…**


End file.
